How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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