what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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