i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize