wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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