D3 body, D1 cock
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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