This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
