New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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