Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
