I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
