I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
