Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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