i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
