I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
