My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
