Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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