1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Drunk is a universal language darling
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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