why didn't you poke me back
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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