I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
