what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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