we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Randomize
