I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
