Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
