I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
