He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
