Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize