come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
