i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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