You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
