peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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