just come out here and I will go home with you...
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
