Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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