im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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