Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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