BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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