I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
