I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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