Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
