Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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