you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
