I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
