bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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