I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
