Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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