i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
