Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
