please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
