i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize