It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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