Will you blow on my dice?
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
