we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
