I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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