Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
