i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
