Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
