ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
