party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
